For me and my girls....

Posts aren't often serious and extremely personal around here (sometimes they are but not often at all) but this one is. This past week has been one of the toughest emotionally I've had in quite some time in the lead up to my twin girls memorial day tomorrow. I put it down to life, being pregnant and being caught out unexpectedly by people's comments and questioning of me this week.

Tomorrow marks five years since we lost our sweet girls Elle and Meg halfway through our first pregnancy. I know some of you have read the full story of myself, Elle and Meg here and here on my old blog. You're welcomed to pop over and take a read, otherwise I understand if you don't, it's extremely intense emotional reading.

But this post for now is about this being my place and moment in time to be open and take stock, reflect, remember, be thankful and grateful for my life despite the enormity of what I feel sometimes.

So to my sweet dear angel girls, although not a day goes by where you are not in my thoughts. I'm thankful for our time together, even though it wasn't a life together, just time together in your womb home. I understand things just weren't meant to be that you were just so unique and precious (Elle and Meg were mono-mono twins extremely rare type of twins that make up 1% of all twin pregnancies). I know I couldn't have done anything more or better to ensure your journey to a life with us here at home. I feel your presence in my life every day, and often think the two of you are guiding your brother and sister and their antics. Seriously what those two get up to sometimes is just too much for two kids and I often think the two of you play into that energy and set me up for some of the most comical moments I have ever encountered.

I receive your messages and I know you're there, thank you for the blooming flowers on your memorial hibiscus tree. Those huge yellow flowers make me smile wide and appreciate all the colour I have in my world to be thankful for, from those who fill my life to the uniqueness my life has taken on.

Because of you my life is forever changed, but so, so, so full of incredible blessings and opportunities.
Because of you we have Cohen (Master V) and Sarah (Little V) and your brother on the way in August.
Because of you I know not to rush ahead planning too far into the future and enjoy the now, this moment.
Because of you I have no fear anymore, I just attack things with the attitude...what's the worse that could happen?
Because of you I have a full incredible life as a stay at home mum, a blogger, a communicator, a business women, a creative, a dream chaser and so much more but most of all.....a mum, your mum.
Because of you I am all that I am and more. I am strong, powerful and confident. I'm not a victim, I'm just someone with a story, with a life with blessings despite your absence.
Because of you I love big.

I love you, both of you, with all of my heart and more.

2013 Week 20: My Wednesday Style Collective.....

Goodness I can't believe how much fun I'm having with my pregnancy wardrobe and coming up with different combinations. Sure I have moments of frustration as any pregnant women or not does, but overall I feel really inspired at the moment.

First up is this awesome combination a missed showing you all last week, due to pics going AWOL. But because I felt so fun and fabulous wearing this combination I had to do a repeat and make sure I got pics for keeps this time

1960's Habe Garments Mini Dress (seen here) - op shopped

Leggings - retail

Shoes - retail

Beads - op shopped

I'm also loving this equally fun combination as well that speaks to my inner hippy, it's an example of making what you've got work the best you can with a growing belly. Hence the layering with the long sleeve white tee and a belly band to extend the maxi skirt out to give me a more comfy fit.

1970's Green Embroider Top - Kitty's Vintage Kitsch and The Shop Time Forgot

White Long Sleeve Tee - cheap retail buy

Skirt - gifted from the gorgeous Allison from Just Underneath

Cuff was a market buy years ago and all others were gifted.

I'm soon going to need to find the balance between pieces to style for and moving towards thinking about my post pregnancy wardrobe. Once I have bubs I'll slip back into nearly everything in my wardrobe but everyone needs some nice new to them pieces to look forward to wearing right?

Corned Silverside is a bit retro isn't it?

Considering that my body is starting to tell me to slow down a bit and I had recent requests for tips via comments, emails and messages about cooking a Silverside in the slow cooker after my kitchen addition of my Snapshots Into Me post, I thought I'd deliver the goods for you in a post. So I hope this helps those who were asking.

I don't know about others but I kind of think silverside is a little bit of a retro meal that has stood the test of time for some families. I know for one we had a fair bit of it growing up because it was cheap and we were poor.

Not the flashest of pics, but I didn't know posting my snapshots post the other week that there would be requests for an instructional.

So I'll quit the rambling and give you my totally un-precise instructions for a great silverside done in the slow cooker.

You will need:
* silverside
* onion
* celery
* carrot
* black pepper corns
* bay leaves
* water
* balsamic vinegar

What to do:
I'm a slap it together non-precise watch the magic happen type of cook, so I hope you can follow me. Start with chopping your onion into large chunks and throw them into the slow cooker. Followed by very roughly cut celery (two stalks) and chopped carrot (one large or two small). Place the silverside on top of cut vegetables and fill slow cooker with water to cover the silverside. A small section may stick out above the water, that's ok you can turn the meat over throughout the day (or not at all it doesn't matter, it'll still cook). Then add about six to eight whole black peppercorns, two or three bay leaves and a good slurp of balsamic vinegar (approximately 1/4 of cup). Cook on low for six hours or longer or until you get home or until you remember a delicious dinner is working it's magic. Serve with vegetables.

So there you go I hope that helps those who were asking, I believe my secrete is the balsamic vinegar and the slow cooking. I know others use plain white vinegar and brown sugar, but a good quality balsamic vinegar is my secret. My husband is a fuss pot with food and would still eat it if I did it on the gas cook top, but in the slow cooker and the extra tenderness and flavour he now raves about it and eats half of it whilst slicing it up to serve it.

Please let me know if you give this a try and how it turned out.

Pregnancy, me and we're having a.....

It feels like the right time for me to open up more and start discussing my pregnancy aside from the mention of a growing belly that I'm trying to style around in My Wednesday Style Collective Posts.

Things that are happening and I'm feeling.....
* I didn't realise that I have friends in circles who didn't realise I was pregnant, so I've recently given a few people a surprise when I've turned around. Because looking at me from the back you wouldn't know I'm pregnant. So that's been rather entertaining to see people's reactions, and the questions are now coming - will this will be our last? Six pregnancy in six years, losses, blessings, breastfeeding peppering all that time.......yeah I'd say we're done this is our last.

* I'm twenty-six weeks baby is kicking up a storm. My mind and heart is in go, go, go mode and I want to do everything that's spinning around in my head. But my body is starting to say slow down, with all the aches and pains I'm having. My mind is having a hard time dealing with slow down mode because I'm a busy bee. I guess a restructure of activities should be in order. Perhaps some more time on my sitting bottom sorting out my online store could be a start. Hence this latest change and the reason for my absence on the blog some days with my regular posts.

* But how am I doing? The big question that's asked of me with each pregnancy with that tone, that means, people want to know how I'm handling things emotional with my PTSD. The answer is I'm travelling well, I've had some difficult moments and this month is always a hard one. May 25th each year marks Elle and Meg's memorial it will be five years this year, so it's always hard and especially if I'm pregnant too. Thankfully I will be busy this Saturday the 25th catching up with some blogging buddies. But overall I'm good, as good as one can be but triggers will continue to be managed and I should be fine.

* Have I started to get things ready? Ummm well, not directly for the baby. The big changes that affect Master V and Little V have been happening like moving them into one room together to share a bunk bed. Even though this bub will be rooming in with us for six months to a year, we're giving our monkeys time to transitions rather then it all happen when the baby is here. When it comes to babies I don't believe you need a lot to care for baby, in fact I'm in the midst of giving stuff away that really isn't necessary in my view to care for baby.

* Finally the question, do you know what you're having? Yes, yes, we do it and I'm surprised I've taken this long to share it all with you.

These two little monkeys of ours will be having another baby BOY monkey to join their long list of hilarious antics. We are thrilled and ever so excited, boy or girl we would feel the same way we are just thrilled to be blessed with one last addition to our family.

Australian Op Shop Review Directory....

I have embarked on a major undertaking and I need all my fellow Australian Bloggers help, who have an interest in op shopping. I am in the middle of compiling an Australian Op Shop Review Directory. So if you have a blog post from an op shop you've visited anywhere around Australia please let me know. Your listing will need to include the name of the shop and an address even if you want to go back and edit it so it now has one.

My hope is for the growing directory to be a practical resource to all Op Shop loving Aussies. But not only that imagine if you're visiting interstate or from overseas and you want to check out what us Aussies have on offer. I'm more than happy for listings to include more than one review on the same Op Shop as I feel that helps give contrast and perspective with opinions and reviews.

Finally lets face it you'll be getting a permanent link in my directory to your blog post too. So come join me and help make this an AMAZING resource for us all to enjoy. If you feel that you have an appropriate post or posts in your archives that would be appropriate for this directory and you'd like inclusion, please email me at tmbristow@bigpond.com with a link to your post. Finally please share the news of this post and forming directory on your blogs, Facebook and social media outlets with your other op shop loving blogger friends so we can make it a comprehensive and thorough directory and resource for all.